Friendship or love
by Zerovk
Summary: Some people say you cannot lose something you never had .. But I did own him .. I did own him as a best friend . I did own him in my fantasies and dreams , my deepest and darkest desires . Pre-written short fic . ( three chapters short ) Akatsukixzero Kainxzero
1. Chapter 1

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Here he was , lying on bed in the middle of the night , recalling it all .

The question is 'How would you react when your same-sex friend - who you eventually realized you like - is about to consider dating a girl ?'

Simple .. try to find flaws in that girl and convince your friend not to date her .

He went through that ..

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 _Flashback :_

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" I don't know .. but I guess she is not nice .. I would not date her If I were in your shoes . "

I remember stuttering and fumbling with my fingers as I spoke my mind ..  
Back then I was still his room-mate .

He had noticed me acting strange and started chuckling , questioning my opposition shortly after he was done sending me some suspicious stares .

" Zero ? Why is it that you don't like her ? Get straight to the point. "

And that's when I knew I was doomed . My friend and also the person I just recently discovered I have developed feelings for is so smart and persistent.

" I.. I think I'm in trouble.. " Again , I stuttered , almost sighing along as I covered my face and inwardly cursed .

 _Fuck my life !_

I didn't need to see his reaction , I knew him more than anyone .  
He was probably wandering his eyes all about the room , wondering what kind of trouble I got myself into this time around .

And when he couldn't guess , he resorted to ask " What do you mean ? "

" I fell in love .. " As soon as I said that , his expression gradually changed , morphing into a teasing smile , making me internally whine . Normally , when you try to imagine such scene of two guys with one of them admitting he has a crush on someone , the said would be casually leaning on the headboard as he daydreams about a hot or cute girl .. However , in my case , I ended up being a massive nervous wreck even though I planned to be confident and firm about it .

" Why is that trouble , my friend ? " he asked in that teasing tone of his , shifting towards the edge of his bed , approaching mine , ready to tease me all the more . _God ! I seriously wanna bury myself alive ._

" The thing is .. I fell for the person in front of me .. " I didn't dare meet his eyes until he started speaking , confirming he did hear me .

" .. It is not April's fool yet , is it ? "

And 'being delusional' or 'thinking I was joking' phase had officially started..

" I'm seriou- " I tried to talk , but he interrupted me almost immediately .

" No . You can't be . I won't allow you . "  
He said it almost like an order.. A tone I have never heard him use with me before .. Akatsuki was almost glaring at me but I blinked back my emotions and focused on that line in particular.. Then anger started boiling in my blood .

" You won't allow it ? but .. you don't have the authority to tell my heart what to do.. " My desperate and pathetic confession mood has turned into barely concealed anger out of hurt , giving me courage to snap at him . As though a trigger , his words made me regain my normalcy and without realizing it , I could finally talk without stuttering , without fearing to meet his gaze . But what I saw there in his eyes didn't please me . I couldn't even begin to describe how devastating it made me feel .

" Maybe I don't.. but I do have authority to accept it or not ! "  
And then he abandoned the room after sending me a quick look that I couldn't quite decipher .

The door clicked shut and at first , nothing happened . But then and as time passed by , about three things took place respectively .. I could feel something deep inside me shatter to million pieces . Then it sank in the ocean of rejection .. I Bitterly smiled as the thought hit me .. It kept sinking .. and sinking and sinking..

Because it was heavy .

My heart ..

I could hear it .. I could hear the crash of it shattering and the drop of it into water , sinking .

After spending few minutes just staring blankly at the door , I finally deemed it reasonable to pack my belongings and ask someone to switch rooms with me . Perhaps Senri or Takuma . Almost mechanically , I started packing my belongings . I knew he wouldn't exactly take it well but , saying I did not hope for a better response would be a lie . Akatsuki and I have many homosexual friends so the issue of liking the same gender should not be repulsive to him .. Did that mean I was problem ? or .. perhaps not being against homosexuals differs from actually turning into one .. Any ways , it matters not . He rejected me and that's the headline .

The question that imposes itself now is .. would he reject me even as friend after knowing about my feelings ?

sighing in a mixture of disappointment , sorrow , and rage , I dragged my trolley bag and switched the lights off , sparing one last fleeting glance at the room before leaving right away . I needed to hurry up before anyone decided to stroll down the hallway and gave me judgmental looks for carrying my bag this late ( switching rooms obviously ) and that would instantly mean something happened between me and Akatsuki which people would find even more entertaining than Kim kardashian's new instagram update .

Alone with my restless and raging thoughts , I nearly staggered my way to the room I had in mind .. How was I going to explain my sudden desire to switch rooms ? Did I make a bad decision by leaving my room ? Should I have stayed ? Would Akatsuki even care ? Where was he ? What was going on in his mind ?

My steps came to a halt as I belatedly noticed a very strong jasmine scent and the fact my fingers were prickled and bleeding from a thorn of a red rose . Wait .. what ? Snapping out of my thoughts , I looked around me , only to realize I was way past Senri and Takuma's room . I did not resist the urge to facepalm .. Just how the hell did I get so caught up thinking about him ? Now I stand at the end of the corridor where a collection of different plant and flower pots fill the area , our academy had tons of those scattered around to help us relax and find inspiration for our career .

I was suddenly tempted to stay alone , drop to the ground and let go of everything , just close my eyes and take a lungful of the sweet scent of roses . But realistically , I couldn't .. At some point , I would need to sleep , no matter how much nonchalant I pretend to be . Plus , the idea of drowning in self-pity right now did not appeal to me .. I'm stronger than that and .. a part of my heart refused to give in and cry , that part told me to hold my chin up high and mask my sorrow from everyone , including or perhaps , especially Akatsuki . Nodding to myself , I exhaled deeply and turned around , heading towards my friends' room , this time determined to reach my destination and not let anything occupy my mind .

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" What happened ? He couldn't have kicked you out . And you would never give up your room unless something really bad happened between you two . " Takuma asked first thing as he let Zero in . There had been a few silent seconds of him staring at the other's luggage of course . the cheerful expression he wore to welcome the shorter male instantly changed into confusion and disbelief as soon as he noticed and realized the situation altogether .

" He didn't . But well .. I could tell my existence was no longer welcomed . " Zero rubbed his neck , feeling nervous and awkward as the blonde elder helped him move his bags whilst Senri watched , as if waiting for the newcomer to break down . He had been lying on his bed , playing with phone and when Zero came in with his belongings , he kind of stiffened , as if afraid the moment he would acknowledge the younger's presence , he would also end up hurting his feelings . Which made Zero wonder if they already knew .. Or at least had the faintest idea of what was going on .

In any case , he was not in the mood to talk about Akatsuki .

Avoiding the topic for now , the silverette explained " We kind of had an argument and the atmosphere is kind of tense between us . so I was wondering if I could switch rooms with any of you until we settle things out ."

 _Settle things out ? yea right .._

" Of course . Actually , I'd love to have a different room-mate , for a change . " Takuman joked , probably trying to lighten the atmosphere in his own way . Though it still did earn him a ' what the fuck ' look from Senri . Zero chuckled half heartedly at that . He wasn't exactly guilty for asking them to switch rooms . They were , after all , Akatsuki's friends before they were Zero's . Which meant they would have no problem staying with him in one room for some time .

Eventually , Takuma agreed to switch rooms with Zero . He packed some of his necessities and left , intending to resume packing in the morning . It was already late and sleeping seemed the best choice for all of them .

After all , they knew Zero would not disclose anything any soon and really , they didn't want to force him , which he appreciated -immensely- . And since any other conversation would have been awkward , Senri made sure Zero did not need the lights before switching it off . After that , he went back to his bed and bid the other good night , conveying how much it would be better if Zero did just that instead of staying up , thinking about whatever had transpired earlier between him and Akatsuki . Easier said than done .

After few minutes , the silverette knew the elder was already asleep judging by his relaxed state and steady breathing . As his gaze traveled to the purple bed sheets , Zero chuckled weakly . Almost everything in the Senri's corner was purple .

In Zero's opinion , the mahogany haired male had a very unhealthy purple obsession .

How unhealthy ?

Well , if he had to choose between a black smooth safe path and a dangerous purple one full of turns and obstacles , he would blindly choose the dangerous path just because it was purple !

Well , ignoring how ridiculous of an example that was ( because really , where the hell does a purple path exist ? Nowhere ) , Zero decided he needed and deserved some rest .

His brain must be starving for a break after all of his inner turmoil . He was certain of that . otherwise , he would have never entertained such an example to show how unhealthy Senri's obsession was .

What kind of topic is that any ways ?

Had he really sank so low in despair that he needed trivial issues to distract him from his lovesick dilemma ?

A voice in the back of his mind whispered wickedly ' because Akatsuki has an equally unhealthy obsession with black .'

Can't I have a goddamn break ?

All of a sudden , his eyes moistened and cheeks warmed . Instinctively , he moved his eyes to see if Senri somehow miraculously chose that moment to wake up . Fortunately , he didn't .

Now back to the ceiling , his gaze faltered and eyebrows furrowed , lips quivered and freely ran a torrent of tears down his cheeks . He had always felt that silent crying signified a more heartbreaking sorrow than loud sobbing . He couldn't explain why though . but he knew for sure that his feelings for Akatsuki ran deeper than a simple attraction .

on one hand , he wanted to stop and calm down . yet on the other , he knew he had to let it all out . Because if he doesn't , he had a feeling it would strike back when he least expected , maybe even in public . and he couldn't afford making a scene .

Then again and thinking back , he only had himself to blame . A sad smile adorned his face at that . If only he hadn't confessed , none of that would have happened . But he couldn't keep it a secret anymore . He was worried it would start showing on his face and actions . And he certainly didn't want his feelings to be forced out of him like that ..

Of course , he didn't expect the flame haired male to fly into his arms and confess he felt the same . However , nothing could have prepared him for the pain the instant rejection brought about .

Well , the damage was done . Neither of them could pretend that nothing had happened and go back to being friends . He was going to have to stop acting like a drama queen and move on , right ?

How hard can it be ?

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2428 words

updated 12 nov , 2017


	2. Chapter 2

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 **Akatsuki pov** :

I have been walking for God knows how long in the garden of the dorm building . which unfortunately did nothing to help my terribly spoiled mood . And that was unbelievable !

I usually crave walking around at night . I love black , I love nighttime . The view of the garden , only lit with lampposts , relaxes me in some inexplicable way . The enchanting atmosphere helps clear my mind , the nocturnal serenity often lulls me to sleep . But since tonight is not exactly a normal one , I found none of that .

Tonight , the darkness feels threatening and uncalled for . The calm atmosphere scares me . The trees seem like ghosts with faces hanging down , eyes and mouth a black hole .. My mind is unsettled , restless and jumbled up . My heart's a mess and emotions a swirling blend of rage and disbelief . My vision of the future is unclear .

Zero , My best friend , just confessed to me .. My best friend just confessed to me ! How was I supposed to react to that ?

' supposed ' ?

Is there even a certain reaction I should have given ? Because really .. Even if there was , I would have acted on impulse and left in the end . Which I did .

To be honest , I half expected him to call me before I got to the door , tell me he was only joking , that it was just a prank or something . And when he didn't , the full gravity of the situation hit me like a ton of bricks .

God ! I didn't know he was bent .. Zero never showed any interest in guys ! then why .. oh God .. could it be ? Only for me ?

Sighing deeply , my steps ground to a halt as my train of thoughts progressed . I had nothing against homosexuality .. I just .. It took me off guard , okay .

To say that I did not expect it would be an understatement , a massive one . Zero is the closest friend I have ever had .. I could not bear to lose him or jeopardize our friendship .. I guess that's why my brain completely rejected the idea and why I probably ended up hurting his feelings despite not meaning to .

Technically , I did not reject him for the hell of it , that much was obvious .. Let's say I gave it a chance and tried dating a guy for the first time in my life . What If I didn't find myself returning his feelings ? That would just be even more painful , right ? To give him precarious and temporary hope then let him pick up the shattered remains .

On the other hand , If I ended up eventually feeling the same about him , what would happen when we fight ? what would happen if we broke up ? I'll tell you what , that would ruin everything , be it friendship or love ..

Really .. the whole issue seemed to have more drawbacks than benefits . And There's no way I would risk our friendship for anything . Though our current situation is not exactly peaceful either .. Our friendship is already deteriorating any ways .

Frustrated beyond belief , I rubbed my temple and shook my head at the impending headache then succumbed to the need to finally sleep though I didn't know how I would look Zero in the eye after what I had done . I could only hope he would be asleep once I reach our room .

Before I knew it , I was finally inside the building , walking towards our room , feeling nervous and hesitant enough to stand there for good five minutes or so before finally twisting the doorknob .

Much to my astonishment , What greeted me was not my silver haired room-mate . It was Takuma , sleeping on where Zero should be . At first , my eyebrows knitted then I tilted my head like an idiot who couldn't process the image in front of him .. Then it hit me .

Zero switched rooms ? He was avoiding me .. I heard a scoff and soon realized it came out of me . What the utter hell ? what kind of nonsense is that ? That was so childish of him , girlish even .

Honestly , I didn't even know why I was so angry over the whole room switching issue . After all , it would be awkward for us to sleep togethe- I mean in the same room after his confession and if not awkward then it would be a recipe for disaster . Who knows .. we might end up fighting .. So technically his decision was a reasonable one . Still , it didn't sit well with me for some reason .

God ! Can this night get even more complicated ?! I slammed my hand on my face before dragging my fingers there , nearly scratching my own face out of frustration .

So Zero and Senri are either sleeping or talking now ?

Well , it's not my problem .. It's not even a problem ! So what ? If Zero needed some time alone , fine . He will soon get over his sudden and troublesome crush on me then we can go back to normal . I will even be kind enough to pretend none of that had happened so it won't be uncomfortable for him - for us - .

Deciding I should really call it a day , I shuffled towards my bed and sweet sleep instantly claimed me - or so I wished - ..

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Rich violet eyes fluttered open to the view of a familiar but different room and surroundings .

Zero licked his lips and rubbed his eyes , chasing away the last remnants of sleep , all the while trying to understand why he woke up in a room that was familiar but not his . The answer soon came in the form of a familiar figure waking up , namely , Senri Shiki .

Everything crashed back at once and fell into place , memories of the past night rushed back to the silverette - the shock , the pain , the sting of rejection - making it impossible not to shudder in a mixture of grief and self pity .

" Morning . " A raspy voice echoed in the background , snapping him out of his thoughts .

Zero sufficed with a nod directed at the elder and curled into fetal position , wrapping the blankets around himself like he had no intention of getting out of bed . which caused Senri to blink and think for few minutes before speaking up again .

" Aren't you going to use the bathroom ? " The elder managed to ask politely . though his usual cold nature still managed to seep into his words .

Hearing that , Zero nearly jumped out of bed and raced to the bathroom but gratefully managed to stop himself and shake his head , allowing the elder to go first . He used to compete with Akatsuki every morning over who would use the bathroom first . That's how they had fun in their own silly way .

 _Force of habit , ha ?_ Zero thought wistfully as he eyed the ceiling like it was the sky , starlit and all twinkling . It could take his mind off things . Or maybe it could take some of his pain .. _So much for staying positive_.. Everything just had to remind him of Akatsuki .

Even though it had just been one night , he found himself already missing how they used to stay up late , chatting about anything and everything .

Suddenly , his eyes watered and face wrinkled in anguish .

 _Stupid .. Stupid ! Why did he confess ? Why ?!_ He could have kept his mouth shut and heart locked , stayed content with being friends .. Why did he hope for more ? What made him think it could work out ?

On the other hand though , why did Akatsuki have to be so cruel about it ? So inconsiderate .. And heartless .. And yet , Zero couldn't stand the idea of living without him .

 _God ! What am I going to do now ? I lost him_..

Some people say you cannot lose something you never had .. But I did own him .. I did own him as a best friend . I did own him in my fantasies and dreams , my deepest and darkest desires .

Zero's inner turmoil would have lasted longer were it not for the sound of water rushing and cabinets closing , echoing from the bathroom . That immediately snapped him out of his thoughts .

Senri may get out any moment now . And last thing I want is for him to notice how depressed I am because of what had happened yesterday .

Feigning nonchalance , the silver haired male started humming to the melody of big bang's blue , as if trying to convince himself he was all relaxed and fine - even though it was nowhere near the truth - .

As if on cue , the door of the bathroom swayed open , revealing the mahogany haired male , all freshened up and ready for class , when a soothing voice met his ears .

Seemingly dazed , Zero kept staring at the ceiling and humming in a soft tone , nearly inaudible , obviously too distracted by his own thoughts to notice anyone's presence . And that .. That was not normal . It was alarming .

What was previously thought to be a serious argument between best friends now looked more like a .. Senri haired male barely suppressed a gasp at that .

 _Could it be_ ?

 _No_ .. _Maybe it's just a coincidence_. He started shaking his head as his eyes remained widened in shock . Zero and Akatsuki ? An expression of total disbelief formed on his face at that . However , deep inside , something told him it wasn't far from possible .

He knew , for a fact , that even best friends could argue at some point and that it might have a great impact on both parties involved . but .. The sight of Zero , all resigned and detached , did nothing to convince him it was just friendship issues . The sight before his eyes was not reassuring , to put it mildly . the younger looked like his soul had long left his body , leaving nothing but a void - a fragile skeleton - in its wake .

He was either going to have to give Takuma a call , ask him if Akatsuki was doing any better , or go there and see with his very own eyes . He couldn't help but feel curious . If Zero's state was anything to go by , then Akatsuki shouldn't be in a good mood either , right ?

Even though Senri wasn't a man of sentiments , at least not outwardly , he couldn't stand the idea of his friends not talking any more . Yea , he'd initially found it somewhat funny the day before but he sure as hell was not thrilled concerning the situation at hand

.Confused and unsure of what to do or even say , he pursed his lips and attempted to shake those conclusions aside . It took him quite some time until he was finally able to regain his composure and take a good look at his friend who looked like shit , put concisely .

After some deeper inspection , Senri licked his lips before asking the younger " Zero , you don't look good . you okay ? " Startled , the silver haired male gasped and turned his head to face the owner of the voice .

 _How long had he been standing there ? Enough to feel suspicious ? To see through him_? Zero hoped not . However , the question directed at him completely negated that .

Much to the younger's dismay , the elder seemed to suspect it already . Zero couldn't have that . He wanted no more pain , no more shame ..

" I'm fine . I promise . " opting for a weak smile , Zero chose to lie . The same thing he realized he should have done the day before . He should have lied about his feelings . he should have lied to himself .. Maybe then , he would have started to believe it and getting over his feelings would have been possible , or at least so much easier .

" Any ways , we have class . I gotta hurry . " Dismissing his own thoughts and feelings altogether , Zero announced as he stretched his muscles , yawning shortly after .

Feeling a little bit awkward , he sat up right , eventually standing up by the bed - purposely giving Senri his back - . Something about the way he stretched , yawned , got up , and started making the bed looked forced , like he was doing it on purpose to avoid meeting the elder's eyes and it didn't go unnoticed by the mahogany haired male .

" You sure ? " Not convinced by what he'd heard , especially when it came from a distracted and woeful Zero , Senri repeated his question as he made his way towards the younger male . But that made the silverette snap " I said I'm fine , Senri ! " Zero turned around , facing the elder , his chest heaving like he'd just ran for his life .

The elder stopped in his tracks as he heard that . Heavy silence pressed on the room after those words resonated about the walls , dissolving in each of their ears .

Senri 's expression instantly shifted into a peeved one . A look of hurt flashed past Zero's eyes , making him regret his tone when all the elder did was look after him . But the damage was done and the least he could do was apologize , make an excuse , claim he was in a bad mood and not in his right mind ..

" Dude ! My bad I was concerned . " the elder exclaimed , getting defensive . It was not like him to insist on people or be nosy , okay ! Nonetheless , he couldn't help but feel concerned . And he didn't appreciate people not recognising his good deeds or in this case , intentions .

Stomping towards his own bed , Senri grabbed his cellphone and made to leave , only to have the younger stop him .

" No ! Senri , I'm sorry .. I'm just having a hard time in general .. " He'd gripped the elder's arm tight , not willing to anger him any more .

" Don't get mad at me .. " _Not you too ._.

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 **Meanwhile :**

Neither Takuma nor Akatsuki seemed ready to accept the sudden change of roommates and - on Takuma's part - rooms as well . The blonde haired male had this habit of not knowing anything for the first five minutes after he wakes up .

Akatsuki had to deal with a half-sober Takuma who kept asking ridiculous questions like " What's this ? Where am I ? What century is this ? "

Any other time , Akatsuki would have found it amusing , funny even . But right now , he really couldn't find the slightest of amusement in anything . He'd blamed it on not getting enough sleep but deep inside , Akatsuki knew why he woke up in such a bad mood , to put it lightly . And it really didn't help when he got out of the bathroom , only to find Takuma sleeping again .

" Ichijo Takuma ! " Akatsuki exclaimed in a thundering voice , shocking the poor elder into the real world and out of sleep land .

" Dude ! " the blonde exclaimed , irritation seeping into his voice at the completely uncivil treatment the other male used to wake him up . It is extremely difficult to get Takuma in a bad mood - if only for a moment - and when that happens , it means some serious shit must have caused it .

And the sour mood didn't stop there . When Takuma got out of the bathroom , he found Akatsuki cursing and rummaging through the whole room .

" Where the fuck is my sweatshirt ?! "

".. Which one ? " Deciding to help like the good elder he was , Takuma asked .

" The black one ! "

A moment of silence reigned the atmosphere before Takuma spoke up again " Your whole wardrobe is black . "

" I know ! I just want that one in particular ! "

Now it looked more like a stubborn child searching for his toys than an adult getting ready for class .

" Why are you in a bad mo- " Before Takuma even got to complete his sentence , Akatsuki countered with a smart comeback " God's will . "

But the blonde haired male was one hell of a persistent friend when he wanted to so he asked the question that Akatsuki dreaded , making the whole belongings in the wardrobe careen down , instantly piling on the flame haired male . His already foul mood has just worsened a fucking lot more , If that was possible .

What was the question ? you might ask ... 'Does it have to do with Zero ?'

Seeing as how a dark cloud seemed to float over the younger , Takuma decided for a different approach .

" You know you can tell me . " He said encouragingly , hopeful when Akatsuki's expression turned hesitant , like he was considering it .

" .. I'm just too upset to talk about it .. ".

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.Zero and Senri were walking down the corridor , heading to class when they ran into Takuma and Akatsuki .

At first , Akatsuki and Zero wore the same astonished uneasy and lost-for-words expression . but then , they acted like strangers , whilst the other two kept their lips in a tight line , exchanging knowing looks , as if they were waiting for something to happen , a fight to be exact . Surprisingly , nothing of that sort took place . And that in itself served as a huge shock .

Maybe it would have been better if they lashed out at each other , if only for the sake of interacting . Now it was like complete strangers walking past each other . Whatever happened between those two had to be serious and deep .

A certain silverette felt his heart slowly but surely breaking into tiny pieces . It pained him that Akatsuki was giving him the silent treatment in front of the other two .

Did he mean so little in the elder's eyes ? It hurt , because Akatsuki -of all people- should have been different . The pain was still fresh , and running into the flame haired male now only worked to further fester those scars .

Frankly speaking , It was enough to dampen his mood . that's why , Zero , to save some face , took his leave first and Senri followed after as soon as he sent Takuma a ' What happened ? ' look .the only response the blonde gave was a shrug as he walked towards his own class . .

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Class :

" Hey ! " A certain chocolate brown haired male with beautiful doe like eyes cheerfully exclaimed , only to frown when he noticed the sour look on his best friend's face .

Few minutes later :

"He is in a bad mood . " Kaname noted in confusion , his eyebrows unconsciously furrowing as he watched Zero break sweat . The way he spoke up made it difficult to tell whether it was a question or a statement .

" yea .. tell me something I don't know . " Senri replied rather sarcastically as he practiced some dance moves .

" What happened ? " Trying to ignore the elder's sarcasm , Kaname crossed his arms and asked .

" He didn't tell you ?! " Genuinely surprised , Senri asked back . though maybe it shouldn't have come as a surprise . If Kaname just now noticed Zero's terrible mood then it didn't take a genius to figure out he would ask about it .

" To think people deem you guys the perfect example of friendshi- .. " before he could finish , Kaname gave him the stare , his eyes clearly saying ' it's not the time for your bitch side to grace us with its glorious appearance . '

It didn't take long for the coach to notice two things , Zero wasn't in shape , Kaname and Senri were chatting and not practicing .

" Kiryuu Zero , If you are not going to take class seriously , don't bother attending ! "

Soft Gasps filled the whole room as a certain silverette bit his lips and bowed before excusing himself . Great ! He got kicked out of class .

All of Zero's friends shared sympathizing looks but before anyone could protest , The coach decided it was time to lecture the other two , Senri and Kaname . The dark brown haired male honestly looked ecstatic to be kicked out , seeing as how he felt obligated to follow after Zero .

" Don't you think he'd rather be alone ? " Senri asked as they reached the door of the practice room , completely forgetting about the coach .

" You may be right . but I don't just turn my back on my friends , especially not when they need me the most . " Kaname replied with determination shining in his eyes , making the elder feel at loss for words .

Kaname ran and ran until he finally caught a glimpse of silver hair . Zero was sitting by the fountain , a dazed look marring his beautiful features .

The brown haired male took a seat next to his friend and waited . A couple of minutes passed by before the silence was broken .

" I moved in with Senri . " The silverette revealed in a surrendering tone , initiating the conversation . It was odd . On one hand , he didn't want to talk about Akatsuki and on the other , he wanted to let it all out .

" What ? Why ? When did that happen ? " Genuinely confused , Kaname faced the younger and furrowed his eyebrows . Why change rooms ? why bring it up ? did it have something to do with Zero's bad mood ?

" because .. well .." Zero started but the words died on his tongue . How should he explain it ? In the briefest way possible ? He really didn't want to go into details . then the perfect question came to mind .

" What would you do If I were to confess to you ? " It was a rhetorical question and Zero , for the first time , willed himself to look straight into those worried doe-like eyes of his best friend , waiting for some sort of disgust to greet his own .

After quite some time and as the full implication sunk in , Kaname's eyes gradually widened and face paled visibly before his features softened again . A hesitant hand rose up to reach the younger's shoulder in an effort to comfort him . " Zero . " .

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 **Meanwhile : Another class :**

A certain flame haired male wasn't doing any better .Throughout the entire class , Akatsuki had been distracted , not exerting enough effort . And it didn't help how noticeable it was . The coach was not happy about it and decided to stop the class before asking Akatsuki to follow him outside . He was at least decent enough not to voice his thoughts in front of everyone . After all , the kid needed to learn the truth and not the whole class .

" The only thing distinguishing you from your classmates is your passion and hard work . However , I can safely assure you if one day , you got accepted in a certain boy group , you'd only be a pretty face . Which - to some people - is a good thing , because you'll contribute to the band's popularity . But the fact remains you would definitely not hold the position of the main vocal or the main rapper since singing ain't your forte and nor is rapping . I'm not saying this to bring you down , kid . I just prefer not to sugarcoat my opinions . "

The coach meant no harm but maybe his way was too forceful . He wanted his student to know that getting distracted was not acceptable , especially since all he had was hard work and good looks , not talent . But Akatsuki didn't see it that way . He just felt like getting under his covers and ignoring the whole world .

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Somewhere down the line and after classes were over , Senri suggested having a get together with a certain group of three guys and refused to tell Zero who they were - explaning it was a surprise - .

Later on , when night fell , a knock on the door caught the silver haired male's attention . He rushed to the door , eager to know the identities of the three guys but was greeted with a grinning Takuma instead .

" Oh .. It's only you . " Zero said , disappointment practically dripping from his voice , making the elder gasp then pout dramatically . The shorter male shuffled inside , completely ignoring the complaints of his blonde friend .

" Is that how you greet me ? I had to deal with a very grumpy Akatsuki when that should have been your job . " The blonde sulked whilst Zero stiffened at the mention of a certain flame haired male but tried to hide it by sitting as casually as possible on his new bed . perhaps too casual to be natural .

Senri , on the other hand , watched in mild amusement . _He could get used to this_ . After all , a complaining Takuma never went out of fashion , whereas Zero and Akatsuki's drama only added up to the hilarity of the whole situation .

It was not appropriate to find amusement in people's misery but well .. Senri wouldn't be Senri if he didn't make an exception for himself , right ?

Another knock on the door made the three whip around , staring wordlessly at it until Zero finally stood up and answered the door again , only to get glomped by a certain someone . That someone was huge . The Silverette noted in astonishment .

" Zero ! " A familiar voice exclaimed then the 'huge' figure pulled away and turned out to be ..

" Isaya ! " Zero excitedly greeted the elder .

" Can't you glomp him somewhere else ? You are blocking the way . " Another familiar voice came to the scene and Zero instantly put two and two together .

" Rido ! " he craned his head to look past Isaya and indeed , there stood not only Kuran Rido but also Kuran Haruka . the former walked in with a charming smile and the latter grinned but still managed to look " hot " ( Captioned by the females of the entire academy . ) Well , of course he was good looking , his pale skin coupled with brown hair styled up messily or hanging down in a sleek fashion . Zero couldn't blame the girls for swooning over Haruka and his voice . Rido was literally worshipped by the girls as well , for obvious reasons . Actually , every male currently present in the room had the girls go crazy about him . _Now imagine them combined_ . Zero barely suppressed a chuckle at that .

" Oh my God , guys ! It's been so long ! " He had nearly squealed . They have been together at some point , formed a band as a project and got closer during that time .

Everyone noticed how Isaya in particular got attached to Zero so much . He would spoil and feed him sometimes , for fun mostly and the petite silverette would just stare at the food then back at the elder , smile never leaving his face like he couldn't process the fact Isaya was trying to feed him .

When everyone was settled on the floor , a decision has been made to play truth or dare after enjoying a drink or two .However , Zero wasn't behaving like himself . Deep inside , he knew he should have been happier about the surprise but he couldn't , not when his mind kept going back to a certain Akatsuki Kain .

If his friends noticed , they didn't show it and for that he was grateful . Reluctant , The silverette tried his hardest to go with the flow , laugh and have fun . which wouldn't have been difficult if he could stop his mind from gravitating back to a certain flame haired male ..

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Updated 14 nov , 2017


	3. Chapter 3

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The following morning Zero woke up feeling his head throb . At first , he was completely blank , not knowing the reason why until he recalled the surprise party Senri prepared the day before . Isaya , Rido and even Haruka were there . He'd truly missed them so much that the events that took place during the party felt surreal . It had been a very long time since they last had fun together like that . Even if he wasn't in a particularly good mood , it still felt nice to know he had people that loved and cared for him and he decided he wasn't going to make them worry about him any more .

With newfound determination , Zero sat up right and stayed like that for good two minutes or so before eventually leaving the bed originally meant for Takuma . Oh speaking of which , was Senri still asleep ?Zero blinked few times before scanning the room , confirming that , indeed , his roommate was still blissfully unaware of the morning taking over .

 _Well , I guess it's also a result of him drinking more than all of us combined_ . the silver haired male reasoned as he started approaching the bathroom , grateful he hadn't done the same thing . In case you people did not know , he had extremely low tolerance when it came to alcohol and since he suspected he was one of those who end up spilling their own secrets when drunk , he truly found himself shuddering at the idea of it alone .

In any case , he would just freshen up and go with the flow .

10 minutes barely passed before he heard a loud knock on the door of the bathroom accompanied with Senri's irritated voice , urging him to get his shit done quickly .

 _Wow ! what a grumpy voice to wake up to_ . Zero thought as he took his time brushing his teeth , finding himself in a surprisingly playful mood . Though he didn't know if Senri meant it literally or not , he still decided to retort back " I dunno if you curse just because you are in a bad mood or you really think I'm taking a shit but I hate to break it to you , I am not . though I will try to brush my teeth faster . " the younger of the two spoke up incoherently as he tried not to swallow the toothpaste .

The only answer he earned himself came in the form of more noisy knocks ringing loudly in his ears , reminding him of a petulant impatient child who couldn't stop asking for that toy he once caught a glimpse of .

Zero quickly washed his mouth and sighed before swaying the door open , revealing a very cranky Senri who seemed ready to punch him in the face and oh it did hurt when the elder spared no time to humor him and instead , yanked him out of the way before promptly shutting the door on his face quite literally .

 _Well , it wasn't a punch but damn it still hurt his nose_ .

" Hey ! " Zero exclaimed as he rubbed his offended nose and made his way towards " his " bed .

It didn't take long before he started hearing muffled choked noises coming from the bathroom . He had no doubt that Senri was emptying the contents of his stomach , even the sound of water gushing through the faucet did little to cover it .

The slightly older male probably didn't like the idea of appearing sick and all weak in front of the younger .

 _How astonishing_ !

Did that mean he wasn't as resistant to alcohol as they all perceived . At first , he thought the elder needed to use the bathroom , nature's call . Zero resisted the urge to laugh . He really did , but God knows he couldn't .

Who knew that Senri , the fierce and detached young man with Sebitch side , couldn't tolerate that much .

Zero continued to entertain himself to that thought as he grabbed his cell phone and turned the WiFi on , waiting for the numerous notifications flooding the screen to stop resounding before he started checking them out , effectively getting distracted .

It was only because of Senri leaving the bathroom that he snapped out of it and realized , with mortification , that he was now running late for his class . both were , but for entirely different reasons . And damn the one time he runs late had to be instructor jessica's class . Just his luck !

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During violin\piano class :

Zero sat in front of one of the electronic keyboard pianos , carefully listening to the instructor's notes while thinking of the nature of such class so far. They have been split in two groups , people who chose to take piano lessons and those who chose violin .

Sadly , most of his friends ended up choosing violin . It's not like he had terrible social skills . No . he did know a lot of people in his class but that didn't necessarily make them his friends .

Truthfully speaking , he was feeling so lonely . but even if he had Kaname , Kaito , or even Senri with him , he wouldn't have had time to chat with them . He supposed .Still , he could have exchanged smiles and fleeting glances with them .

Sighing as he willed himself to think happy thoughts , Zero soon found himself slipping into the pianist in him as the entire class began playing together . Their instructor said it was better that way , to be able to tell when someone deviated from the harmony of playing in sync .

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Somewhere else , a certain flame haired male was also having his piano\violin lesson . Akatsuki had been spacing out for a while even as he played to the melody of Yiruma's river flows in you .

But it didn't stay that way for long . He was snapped out of his thoughts when a familiar voice called him in a whisper . " Pss . Akatsuki ! "Tilting his head to the side , he faced an overly cheerful Hanabusa Aido .

The gloomy young man adjusted his violin and hummed , waiting for the younger to speak even though he was not in the mood for chatting at the moment , nor was he supposed to .Akatsuki scanned the room for instructor shana , making sure he wasn't going to get into troubles for being ' talkative ' and once he found her lecturing another student , he visibly relaxed .

Hanabusa , on the other hand , seemed to have been impatiently waiting for someone to slip so that they would get scolded by the instructor and buy him time to talk with his friend .

"What's up with you and Zero ? you had a fight or what ? "Now that caught his attention .

" Did someone tell you that ? " Frowning as he gazed at the younger intently , Akatsuki nearly chewed his lips as he waited for the blonde to respond .

" No . but I have been observing you two and I pieced it out . So you had ? " Hanabusa persisted and the elder could only sigh at that , knowing there would be no point trying to hide it after all .

" Well , yea . you can say we had a fallout . " the apricot haired male admitted , feeling rather dismal at his own words .

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It was only after a while that Akatsuki realized he truly missed his friend , Zero .Unable to cling to his pride anymore , he decided to confront the younger and tell him so . However , he could never know he was in for a total disappointment .

It was during lunch time when the flame haired male managed to catch a glimpse of the said silverette and before anyone could notice , he held Zero by the arm and asked for a moment .

The silverette had been startled by the touch and maybe even shocked by the knowledge of just who exactly pulled on his arm but managed to hide it .They were out in the garden , just a short walk away from the cafeteria when Akatsuki finally stopped in his tracks and spun around to face the younger , the sincerest apology rolling past his tongue .

A moment of silence descended over them as both waited , one for a response and the other for words to formulate in his mind .

Contemplating his answer , Zero smiled and shook his head before speaking up " I'm sorry , Akatsuki . "Confused , the elder just furrowed his eyebrows and parted his lips , ready to ask why . After all , he'd been the one to hurt the younger , not the other way round .

The silverette took a deep breath before averting his gaze away , admiring the cherry blossom planted around the area and finally explaining , returning his gaze once more to meet the elder's .

" The Zero you are looking for is no longer here .. "

Another moment of silence conquered the atmosphere , though that time considerably shorter .

 _You broke his heart .._ Akatsuki mentally added , barely keeping himself from rolling his eyes .. Like .. seriously ! how much more drama would he have to deal with ? It's true he'd been a jerk with the way he , more or less , rejected the younger's feelings . but come on ! He hadn't done so intentionally and here he was , swallowing his pride for a mistake that wasn't his . He had never given Zero mixed signals or anything so why the hell was everything spiraling out of control like that ? Now he was forced to listen to a drama-infused response from the silverette .

However , the rest of the younger's speech did not go the way he expected it to , not entirely .

" Now It's Zero that loves you and I can't bring myself to be your friend and act like nothing happened when it gives me false hopes being near you . ".

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After some more time , Akatsuki found himself getting annoyed whenever he saw Zero around others . He would feel inexplicably jealous and wish he could punch anyone who dared getting closer to the silver haired male . It didn't exactly help that the younger male just had that uncanny ability to make everyone go crazy for him , regardless of the gender or age . He couldn't allow that anymore . He didn't know how but he was going to chase away any person trying to get closer to the unsuspecting younger . Damn ! Zero was HIS best friend and not anyone else's . People had to know that ! And Akatsuki was determined to show it in the most explicit of ways .

He started rebuilding their friendship in small gestures and soon enough , they found themselves slipping back into the way they used to be . It even looked like Zero was going to switch back to his room with Akatsuki again . Achievement unlocked !

One day , they were playing video games like they used to and started doing again as of late . Everything was fun and games until Akatsuki just had to bring a certain topic up .

" I heard you kissed .. in truth or dare . " he tried to make his voice sound flat and indifferent as much as possible but failed , miserably .

Zero swiftly raised his eyebrows and focused on the video game , or at least tried to , and answered casually " Yea .. I know I did . "

He meant to ask _' Your point ?'_ But chose to phrase it that way .

the sounds of their fingers pressing against the game controller filled the otherwise silent room .

Deep inside , Akatsuki was seething .

Zero had really kissed Haruka !

He tried to calm himself down . he really tried . But all his efforts went down the drain as a certain image filled his mind , Zero losing in truth or dare and ending up on Haruka's lap before they started making out .

Unconsciously and without meaning to or even thinking his actions through , the flame haired male tossed his controller aside and moved forward , shoving the younger to the floor , making the one in Zero's hands go flying as well .

" Mine ! You are mine ! " Akatsuki literally snapped as he said those words and put both hands on the younger's cheeks , trapping the flesh there .

Zero blanched hearing those words . His heart skipped a beat , breathing became labored and eyes stretched so wide in shock at both , getting shoved out of the blue and hearing those words .

He could hear the distant sound of his character getting shot in the game followed by the infamous ' Game over ' but could only ever register one thing . _Did he hear it right ?_ Judging by the elder's possessive expression , it seemed that way .

Zero pursed his lips and tried his best not to curse the elder .Their faces were inches away , he could see and feel those tendrils of flaming jealousy radiating from the male above him but it did nothing to alleviate the ache in his heart . Because he knew why . Zero knew possessiveness when he saw it .

Akatsuki had the audacity to say such thing and follow it with an attempt to .. His face neared Zero's and it took only a split second to comprehend why . The silverette widened his eyes and instantly pulled his face away , dealing the elder's a messy punch .

He couldn't feel anything but anger, boiling and pervading every inch of his being . One single word shattered everything , all those good memories they had in the latest weeks as they explored their friendship again now reduced to shrivels before his eyes . Why ? Why , Akatsuki ? Just why ?

His eyes took on a sorrowful glint as he gazed through disheveled silver strands at the one person he loved and heartily trusted , realizing fast that such was a mistake on his part .

The elder seemed to have sobered up after that punch and pulled away a little , or at least was forced to .

" We are not filming a drama , Akatsuki ! " Expression somewhere between disbelief , anguish , and disgust , Zero exclaimed , barely keeping himself from yelling . Akatsuki's words had hurt more than he liked to admit and his actions made it ten times worse . Just because he harbored feelings for the elder didn't automatically mean he was **his** .

" You can't just reject my feelings one night and magically start returning them the other ! " voice wavering and face turning red , the younger of the two struggled to break free . He shoved the elder out of the way and stood up , betrayal and despair staining his once beautiful face .

He was too angry it hurt ! No .. he was goddamn hurt and that angered him to no limits . Whatever the fuck , he couldn't care less which happened first . What mattered was that he was presently furious and hurt and disappointed and .. God , it hurt too bad .

" How ? How could you even think that saying that would make me soften or approve of your advances ? I love you yes , but I will never let you take advantage of me or my feelings ! Did you think I would never say no to you ? Did you think I was after your body ? So you assumed giving it to me would fix everything ? " Never giving the elder a chance to defend himself , Zero exclaimed , nearly tearing off all strands in his head .

Akatsuki , on the other hand , did not know what to say . He himself had no idea why he was feeling that irrational about it all . He had intended to patch things up between them and apologize for being a total jerk but he ended up doing the exact opposite , hurting Zero's feelings once again - something he seemed to be doing a lot lately - .

It was only after the younger stormed out of the room and slammed the door behind that Akatsuki finally realized why . _No , Zero .. You are mine to to love , mine to cherish , mine to hold_ .

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You can imagine the rest of the story in whatever way pleases you . Think that they ended up reconciling and finally got in a relationship or that Akatsuki kept his feelings to himself and never confessed to Zero and eventually both stopped talking , or that they stayed friends with no love involved . In all honesty , think whatever you like .

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2920 words

updated 18 nov , 2017


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